When Children's Events Become an Excuse to Get Hammered

The abundance of alcohol at youth sports events has skyrocketed

Photo by Kelsey Chance on Unsplash

As I am approaching yet another dance competition for my daughter this weekend, I am thinking about the past and reflecting on how important alcohol was to me at these events.

If you are a parent or have attended any youth sport, you’ve noticed parents with their mugs.  Most of them do not contain coffee.  

Or, maybe you are one of the parents consuming to “make the event more exciting”.  I was one of those parents.  

It wasn’t always this.  When I was growing up, I never noticed parents partying in the bleachers with their to-go cups.  People didn’t get usually hammered at 1st birthday parties.  

At least, I never noticed. 

When I adopted the title of “dance mom” 15 years ago, I had no idea what I was in for.  I thought they would just take a few classes at the studio.

But, one class turned into many and soon enough, we were at the dance studio 5-6 days a week.  Looking back, this was a little insane but they loved it, and that justified it.

At the time, all the parents at the girl's schools were doing the same thing with their kids so I didn’t think much of it.  Hindsight is 20/20. 

So, I think a lot of parents must feel this way.  You start small and then all of a sudden, your life is overcome by this sport.  

Here are just a few examples of what went on at these events.

Both of my girls were thrilled when they were asked to join the competition team. This meant weekends away, most of them local but we would still get a hotel room and make a staycation out of it.

During the time when their first dance competition was approaching, I was “soberish”… meaning I pretended to be 100% sober. I was sober most of the time but if I had a chance to get away with drinking, I would take it.

None of the dance moms knew any of my personal information. We were all friends but it wasn’t deep.

So, I knew that I would be taking the girls to their first competition alone because my husband didn’t want to come to stay the night. He would pop in to watch a few dances and be on his way back home.

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The night before the start of the competition, I was full of excitement. Sure, to watch them dance, but knowing that I was going to drink made it even better.

How sad, right?

Drinking always overcame my thoughts. I was there for them but I wasn’t.

So, the morning of, I made sure I had my liquor hidden in my bag so I could do a little pre-partying in my room alone before meeting all the moms.

How sad, again… right?

We checked in at noon, and I was soon off to the races. Their dances were later in the day, with breaks in between so I would either race up to the room or head to the bar with the moms.

I soon came to find out that dance moms love to drink.

Two full days of drinking ensued and I felt like complete shit on Sunday. This would repeat for the next 10 years.

Sometimes my family would know about it, and for others, I would be sneaking fireball shots in the bathroom.

I fluttered around those competitions and thought I was living my best life. I’d made great dance mom friends fueled by alcohol.

We always watched the girls on stage and some of the times are fuzzier than the others, but thankfully I never missed anything while being intoxicated.

Alcohol gave me a ton of energy. My social anxiety was obliterated.

Everything was all good and fun until I would wake up in a panic at 3–4 AM wondering how I would survive the next day.

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I would stash bottles under the mattress in our hotel room.

I was loud and obnoxious, making jokes and being annoying around their dance teachers.

But, the other moms were doing it so why couldn’t I?

Although, I doubt those moms were stashing bottles under their mattresses.

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Fast forward to today. I’ve attended several dance competitions sober. It feels good to be present, aware, and remember everything from the weekends.

Although, it is a hell of a lot harder to socialize for hours with the other moms. I am so different now and I enjoy my quiet solitude. I'm not too fond of loud places.

Thinking about the competition this weekend, I had some major flashbacks.

A few horrible memories popped into my head.

During one competition and after drinking all day and night, they were waiting to do their last dance. It was probably around 8 PM.

I was freaking out about having enough liquor to fall asleep that night, as all my mattress liquor bottles were empty. Sleep was ALWAYS an issue when I drank.

The store in the hotel was closed.

So, I hit up this bar asking if I could get an entire bottle of wine, but I needed it corked. I didn’t bring a cork with me to the room. I didn’t have wine hiding under my mattress.

The bartender looked at me weirdly but rang up my wine and corked it. I kept scanning the area to make sure no one was there to witness me buying a bottle of wine for myself.

Why did I care about that? People who don’t have an alcohol problem wouldn’t be bothered by buying wine, but they probably wouldn’t be doing this either!

I snatch up my wine bottle and race to the elevator. Then, just when the elevator door is about to close, in walks a super square dance mom that I didn’t hang out with. Great, I had to be in the elevator with this chick judging me.

My heart sank. What did I do? Get to my room as quickly as possible to drink my wine before the girl’s next dance.

Also, I secretly hoped this mom wouldn’t talk about me to everyone at the studio.

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I haven’t thought about this night since it happened but that bar smacked me with some memories yesterday.

I need these memories to stay sober.

After the dance competition this weekend, I can come home, go to sleep sober, not wake up at 3 am with a racing heart, and feel good in the morning.

So many of those weekends I would return home on Sunday spent, each time with a raging hangover that took me almost all week to recover from.

This is my last year of these competitions and I am so thankful that I get to show up for my daughter.

Can anyone relate?